Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Baby dua bulan berkhatan

Nak cerita pengalaman pasal khatankan Irshaad Qaiser semalam. Sebabnya kan ramai yang tak khatankan masa baby apatah lagi yang baru berusia dua bulan ni. Selalunya tunggu dia sekolah rendah dulu ye dak? Sorry takde gambar sebab masa tengah berkhatan tu aku sorang je dalam OT, pegang tangan Irshaad.

First sekali, sebab-sebab aku khatankan Irshaad awal:
  • Senang jaga luka sebab dia tak buas lagi nak meniarap berlari melompat bagai.
  • Tak gatal dan bernanah sebab hanya minum susu, tak makan benda bukan-bukan.
  • Deria tak fully develop lagi so kurang rasa sakit.
  • Takde risiko Irshaad nak lari dari OT.
  • Tak payah rasuah macam-macam.
Cuma takde pengalaman je la dia nak cerita kat kawan-kawan. Boleh dengar dan rasa ngeri je la bila kawan dia bercerita nanti.

Aku book slot kat An-Nur Bandar Tun Hussein Onn, Cheras hari Selasa, pukul 10:30am. Tapi pukul 11:30am baru sampai giliran. Bengang jugak masa tu sebab Irshaad pun dah mengamuk lapar susu. Pastu dia sambung mengamuk dalam OT.

Irshaad dikhatankan guna kaedah konvensional, guna cautery. Ada yang kata laser tapi ni la bendanya.
"Kaedah konvensional ini mengalami sedikit evolusi dengan kehadiran satu alat dipanggil cautery. Cautery ini adalah satu alat yang menggunakan elektrik atau bateri. Ia menghasilkan haba di hujungnya dan boleh digunakan untuk memotong lebihan kulit dan membakar salur darah. Ini menjadikan proses khatan kurang dari segi pendarahannya."
- Blog Dr Azwan



Bila doktor dah sapu antiseptic iodin, dia cucuk ubat bius kat penis Irshaad. Lagi kuat la budak tu menjerit. Part tu je yang sakit sebenarnya. Lepas doktor dah kepit-kepit penis, tengok dah takde reaksi, doktor pun bagitau ubat bius dah jalan so dia nak teruskan prosedur. Aku angguk je la sebab susah hati si Irshaad duk menangis lagi kelaparan campur sakit kena bius tadi.

Aku tak berani nak tengok sebenarnya tapi bila aku terbau macam benda terbakar je, aku tengok la. Berasap kau penis Irshaad kena cautery tu. Ngeri jugak so aku sambung fokus kat Irshaad je. Dia dah mula hisap-hisap jari aku, diam la kejap. Lepas tu sambung balik jerit sebab orang duk pegang kaki dengan tangan dia. Haih la anak.

Dah habis potong semua kulit, aku tengok la. Eh? Mana penis Irshaad? Mana? Mana?! Rupanya nurse clamp bahagian kulit je so kepala penis tu bawah clamp tu sebab tu la tak nampak mana penis dia hahahaha. Kaget gila takut doktor terpotong semua sebab kecik sangat kan.

Lepas tu doktor bagitau nak jahit pulak. Masa ni baru sedar yang doktor akan bagitau setiap peringkat prosedur supaya kita tak ketinggalan gituh. Aku ingat dah settle rupanya nak menjahit pulak. Alahai kesian Irshaad.

Dah habis tu doktor tunjuk pulak cara nak cuci luka. Dia cuci dengan air saline (air garam boleh buat sendiri kat rumah), keringkan, lepas tu sapu dengan krim kat keliling penis bahagian jahitan tu. Then boleh la pakai pampers macam biasa.






Aku pakaikan longgar-longgar then keluar OT, tunggu ubat pulak. Tengah tenangkan Irshaad, nurse panggil bagi saline, krim sapu, kulit lebihan penis Irshaad, dan ubat demam/tahan sakit (5ml Progesic). Katanya budak besar dapat pil, untuk baby makan ubat ni je la. Total RM150.

Lepas tu dia tanya kenapa sunatkan awal sangat dengan judging look. And I'm like, kalau tak boleh, kenapa klinik ni buat? Tapi aku tenang je la jawab sebab senang jaga lepas tu aku blah terus menyampah. Dah la bengang giliran lambat, Irshaad tengah mengamuk, dia pulak nak langsi-langsi ewahhh. Aku rasa dia kesian kot sebab Irshaad duk terjerit-jerit tapi dia tengah lapar sebenarnya cik kak oi.

Dalam kereta Irshaad tidur je. Sampai rumah terus nangis balik. Kesan bius dah habis agaknya. Lepas bagi susu, dodoi sikit, dia tidur balik. Sepanjang hari dia nangis masa nak kencing dengan masa nak letak krim kat luka dia. Dah Maghrib macam tu dah boleh senyum-senyum dah. Hilang sakit dah la kot.

Malam tu Mat balik, aku cakap la risau gak kalau dia berak ni sebab nanti taik kena penis, susah nak bersihkan. Sekali elok je aku habis cakap, Irshaad pun kentut kuat bunyi tengah berak. Cepat-cepat Mat bukakkan pampers, pegang kaki dia. Tu la plan kitorang. Bukak pampers supaya taik dia terus jatuh ke bawah, tak gerak-gerak sampai penis. Lepas tu aku bersihkan punggung dia sambil Mat pegang kaki dia takut terkena taik dan penis. Teamwork!

Aku tak pakaikan seluar. Pakai pampers longgar-longgar, selimut dengan kain lampin. Tak sejuk sangat, tak panas sangat sampai berpeluh. Selang dua jam aku tukar pampers dia supaya luka stay kering. Tengah malam pun sama. Gigih sikit la nak bangun setiap dua jam tu. Pukul 5 pagi macam tu tengok penis dia dah tak melekat dengan telur, maknanya luka dah kering sikit. Lega la mak jemah. Letak ubat pun dia buat rilek je sengih-sengih lagi.

Overall, satu hari tu je la dia merengek sakit nak kencing. Alhamdulillah semua ok. Dalam 4 hari ni doktor tak bagi mandi, lap-lap je. InsyaAllah Sabtu ni dah boleh mandi yay!

Gambar pagi ni. Tak macam baru lepas khatan pun haha.

Ada sebarang persoalan boleh tinggalkan komen/whatsapp ye. Aku sudi menjawabnya. Hahaha.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Should a wedding be so expensive?

The right answer is "no".

Why? You ask me why? Wait. Nobody asked me why? Why?

Hahah okay straight to the point!

Weddings shouldn't be expensive. At all! You want a beautiful wedding without spending too much money that you didn't have? You can. Like me. Yeap. I'm the most stingy bride to be ever.

Food
 Of course we should invite our family, friends and neighbours as to tell them that we are married so kita takkan timbulkan fitnah. But are we really required to invite others that didn't even know us? Like orang kampung yang kita tak pernah sembang, friends of the family that we never met, and our Facebook friends that we never know why they were in our list of friends?

From here we can downsize guests, thus, downsize our food budget. Be it catering or served straight on tables, we can really save more money when we downsize our guests. It's that easy.

For me, catering is much more saving than serving. Ask anyone, they would say the same. Unless you do western style, with RSVP and everything, you can save more like that.

And forget all those unnecessary booths (candy, cupcakes, coffee/tea). Why? Because IT IS UNNECESSARY!

Venue
Public/Community Halls is the cheapest of all. Plus, you wouldn't have to clean or decorate the hall. But after, you have to clean the place a bit for the deposit money. Meh. Easy.

Hotel's Ballroom? Yeah, sure, if you are made of money. Plus, they have their own catering so you wouldn't have to search for one.

Home is the trickiest. You have to clean and decorate your house, rent some tents, and block your neighbours. But you have to rent the correct number of tents (for guests, for the bride and groom's table, for the caterer). And they are expensive. Unless you know a guy who know a guy who have wedding tents for rent, maybe you can get a better price.

Outfit and accessories
This part is all you. Brides' dress is expensive. Grooms can find a suit or baju melayu with a reasonable price and they are done.

For me, the most cheapest way is to buy a ready made dress. The most beautiful dress full of labuci and pearls here and there, you can get under RM300. Trust me, because I already found my perfect dress. And I assure you, the dress is so simple (but perfect!) that I can wear it even after the wedding (to any events). So, no regrets!

For example, dresses like this would only cost like RM250 around Jalan TAR, Masjid Jamek and Kenanga Wholesale. But I won't recommend you to buy online for you wouldn't know your exact size and if it is suitable for you.

Visit Trendy Sofratunnisa

To rent is very expensive. Minimum is RM500. If you want a really beautiful dress, of course it will be at least RM700.

Tailor made dress can be cheap but sloppy, and it can be perfect and expensive. Even if they make a simple dress, it will cost at least RM200. Then you will want to add pearls, kerawang, 3d flowers. Overall? RM300. But it will be simple lah. It's up to you.

And I made my hand bouquet myself using felt. Sooooooo cheap! Fresh and fake flowers both are very expensive. Not to mention ready made hand bouquet. Even if they are using felt, the cheapest that I can find is RM150. I'm like, what the fuck? You can buy a roll of felt for RM5 at Daiso kot. And you can get at least 20 roses. And it is VERY easy!



This will be my hand bouquet but it is not done yet so don't judge it!
You don't know how to do it? Me too! You don't have the talent? What a coincidence! Me too! But what did I do? I Googled. (OMG you can Google these?).

Use your damn expensive iPhone/Samsung/Sony/Blackberry(haha) or your PCs and laptops for these! Just Google the tutorials. YouTube too!

Too lazy? Yeah, I figured. Go to my wedding blog for these flowers tutorial. Psh.

I did the rozettes too. To buy only 20 pieces is a waste of money. And it is fucking easy. People would throw it away, anyway. But if you do it yourself, they might keep them. Or maybe wear them regularly with their shawls!

Also not completed yet. Just want to add ribbons.
You can find the tutorial in my wedding blog. And, I won't add any money. Because I'm stingy, remember? Haha!




Anything else to do to cut your budget? Just ignore what everyone says.

"Oh you should add this and that."

"Oh you should do this, that, or all of that!"

"Oh you should wear this and this and that and that very expensive thingy that people wouldn't even notice!"

Unless they give you money for "this and that", just smile and said "Fuck you."

Kidding! (but if you are that kind of a person, go ahead)

Just politely smile and nod. But never do what they ask you to do if that thing is very ridiculous. But if it is your custom (like Perak should have something sweet for hantaran), choose the cheapest way to please your elders. If the cheapest way of Perak (because I'll get married in Teluk Intan), I should include a pack of sugar in the hantaran. Yeah.

But never, ever be rude to the old ones because they are the ones that will help the most on your wedding day.

I'll update my budget on my wedding blog soon. Soon.





Updates on my life? I resigned from Saphire Screen and on the same day as my last day there, I got a job offer from Maybank. So, yay me!

And my wedding day will be on 13th December 2014. Hihi.

Okay bye.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

2014 Updates!

Too late? Peduli apa aku. Baru April!

Fast update! Hop on the train, please. Choo choo!

New favourite tv series:




Bekerja di Saphire Screen Sdn Bhd, Ampang, KL. Jawatan Producer's Assistant cum Graphic Designer. Mungkin nak berhenti kerja kalau dapat tawaran dengan gaji lebih tinggi.

Getting married soon! That's why I need a higher salary. December, insyaAllah..

Er... Actually nak update latest favourite tv series je sebab nak paksa korang tengok jugak!

Ok dah bye!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Cool blogger mom from the west.

Heads up, for this post will be entirely in English because she might read this. Hihihi. I shit you not, because she is THAT cool.

A few months before as I was so bored at work, I read all posts from David Thorne's website and I don't know what to read anymore since if I had opened a book to read, my coworker will give me the eye (I've never tried it and just assumed she will be).

Then I went through all websites on the right side of his website and there it was, a website that catch my attention: So Then... Stories.



I started to read her posts from the bottom (as I usually do) and I find myself still reading even until 5:30pm. Usually at 5:20pm I've already packed my laptop, washed my glass and stare at the clock.

Darcy Perdu's writing style is simple and yet its simplicity became its advantages. Seriously, go read her posts and she will touch your heart and your soul. And more importantly, she is funny! I couldn't believe that she is a mom to a daughter and a son. I imagine that she is as cool as my late mom. But my mom is waaaay cooler than her. Hoho.

(Is it correct? Cooler? It's not like beautifuler, right? Psh. Whatever.)

Plus, she always, ALWAYS reply to the comments! Not like some of the blogger who wouldn't even bother to read them. Not only that, she read her readers' blog too! I know because she read mine. Well, not read, since nowadays I only write in Malay because my dream is to write a novel (like it would happen in the near future but pray for me okay?). She would go through my posts to see the photos, and comment on them! She is so awesome!

She have a big heart, too. She gives free goodies to her reader; So Then... Stories t-shirt! I've got one, so, no more for you guys, though. HAHAHAH. No, I'm sorry you guys won't get one. Truly very sorry. *Smirk*

Well, just try your luck. You might get the awesome t-shirt ;)



My kawaii face is already on her page with the t-shirt in front of Menara Condong Teluk Intan since I thought "Kuala Lumpur is KLCC, right? What a cliché". People wouldn't know that Malaysia have many historical buildings and monuments if we always show KLCC as the face of Malaysia.

It's 5:30pm! Till then. Make sure to go to her website, okay? OKAY? Okay.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Apa Dosaku?

Peluh memutik di pangkal dahi Aiman. Keningnya berkerut-kerut. Tangannya kemas menggenggam stereng. Matanya sesekali melirik pada jam papan kawalan radio. Tak senang duduk.

Aiman meleraikan pegangan tali pinggang keledar supaya pernafasannya lebih lancar. Ditekan punat tingkap automatik supaya udara luar menerjah masuk menampar wajahnya. Aiman tak puas. Ingin sahaja dia keluar dari kereta semata-mata mahu menenangkan diri.

Fikiran Aiman segera ke waktu bahagia ketika dia bercuti di Cameron Highlands. Udara segar, tiada pencemaran, cuaca yang dingin, tiada sesak, tiada masalah. Masalah? Aiman mendengus.

Kereta dihadapannya masih belum bergerak dan dia semakin buntu. Cepat sahaja otak warasnya menyalahkan dirinya sendiri. Jika Aiman lebih berhati-hati, pasti semua ini tidak akan berlaku. Aiman menyapu titis-titis peluh yang semakin memberat dan mengalir di pinggir pipi. Masalah yang dihadapinya kini sangat berat.

Dengan tiba-tiba kereta di lorong sebelah menghimpit kereta Aiman kerana ingin memotong. Dalam keadaan trafik yang sesak sebegitu pun masih ada segelintir pemandu yang kurang bijak ingin menyesakkan lagi jalanraya. Tapi Aiman tak peduli. Dia biarkan sahaja pemandu yang tidak faham erti kesabaran itu memotong dan masuk ke lorongnya. Fikirannya lebih kepada masalah yang semakin menggunung dalam benaknya.

Mahu sahaja Aiman berlari meninggalkan keretanya dan pulang sahaja ke rumah. Dia tidak mampu menahan perasaannya lagi. Hampir-hampir sahaja air yang bertakung di matanya jatuh ke pipi. "Apa dosa aku?" fikir Aiman berulang kali sejak minit-minit yang lepas.

Dengan mata berkaca, dia memandang ke sisi. Seorang kanak-kanak riang sibuk bermain dengan patung kecil Iron Man. Indah kehidupan si anak kecil. Tak perlu fikir masalah orang dewasa. Masalah mereka hanyalah apabila aiskrim yang dipegang kemas menyentuh tanah.

Setelah seinci demi seinci kereta Aiman bergerak ke hadapan, dia nampak penyelesaian masalahnya. Dia berfikir panjang tentang itu sepanjang perjalanan dan jika dia tidak bertindak dengan cepat, maruahnya bakal tercalar. Dia tidak mahu rakan sekerjanya menjauhi dia hanya kerana masalah yang kecil itu.

Aiman mencapai telefon bimbit dan mencari nama rakan sekerjanya dalam senarai nombor telefon. Sambil ibu jarinya menekan butang hijau, otaknya ligat berfikir, adakah tindakannya betul atau salah. Betul atau salah? Perlukah dia peduli jika ada hati yang bakal disakiti? Dia perlu menjaga dirinya dahulu sebelum orang lain.

"Hello?"
"Hello, Ili? Aiman ni. Lambat sikit. Jalan sesak teruk, dan..."
"Kenapa Aiman? Kemalangan ke?"
"Tak.. Aiman.."

Talian terputus. Aiman tidak ambil peduli. Dia akan terangkan segalanya pada Ili nanti. Masalahnya perlu diselesaikan segera. Dia memberhentikan keretanya di tepi jalan tanpa mengganggu trafik dan segera berlari ke arah sebuah bangunan tanpa menghiraukan pandangan orang lain. Sejurus selepas pintu ditutup rapat dibelakangnya,


"Ahhh lega..." fikir Aiman di dalam tandas awam milik Petronas.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Nak kahwin, buat blog. Normal.

Patutnya sekarang sibuk survey sana sini. Tapi aku? Buat blog kahwin. Hahaha..

Normal lah kan? Aku tengok ramai je B2B (ce ce ce pandai dah sebut B2B) buat blog pasal kahwin. Elok juga. Boleh tolong bakal-bakal yang lain. Seperti aku. Banyak inspirasi aku dapat dari depa-depa nih.

Aku buat blog tu bukan gedik nak bagitau aku nak kahwin segala. Tapi nak isi tips, tempat mana nak cari barang murah, DIY barang kahwin dan segala macam lagi. So, sila lah berkunjung kalau nak tengok.

PERINGATAN: Under Construction.

Kelik sini kalau nak terus ke blog ni

Monday, January 13, 2014

Things that haven't been taught at driving school v2.0

 (at least not at mine)

*Read v1.0 here if you are curious (takde siapa pun yang curious, Wan. Haha. Haha.)

Aku rasa lama-lama nak buat siri lepas beberapa pemerhatian dilakukan setiap hari menghadapi jalanraya. The thing is, I have to learn all this crap the hard way. What I mean with that is belajar dari kakak, kawan-kawan, good honks, bad honks, makian dan sekali tu I got a finger from an old man (it's not a thumb). And sometimes, accidents.

This morning, I got an idea to write about roundabouts (bulatan). Kisah benar: sepertimana yang anda semua tahu (kalau tak tahu, tunggu ayat berikutnya), aku ambil lesen di kampung. Belajar memandu di Teluk Intan.

Di Teluk Intan tu, cari lah celah mana pun, takkan jumpa bulatan! Dalam sekolah memandu tu ada la bulatan sekangkang anak kera. Tu pun dia tak ajar macam mana nak guna bulatan. Aku belajar memandu di bulatan sorang-sorang di KL. Perasaan dia masa tu, huihhh peluh dahi leher ketiak.

So, today we're going to learn, How to cross/use the roundabouts!

Credit to http://www.sharoma.com/roundabout.htm

Sebenarnya aku nak lukis sendiri tapi separuh jalan, terus malas. Hasilnya:

Malas nak sambung lukis sebabnya nanti aku over exaggerate lepas tu aku yang penat nak lukis

Kalau aku sambung juga lukis roundabout ni, I'll end up like this post. And this, this, this aaaand finally, this.

First of all, WAJIB bagi signal! Flick that blinker! Tolak batang belakang/tepi stereng awak tu! Tak susah pun.. Daripada duk bagi jari tengah kat orang, baik la men-jari-tengah-kan batang signal tu.

Kalau nak keluar simpang tu jauh lagi, bagi je signal kanan sampai lah nak dekat simpang tu, baru signal ke kiri, okay? Tapi jangan la lagi se-saat nak masuk, baru nak bagi signal kiri. At least bila dah lepas satu simpang sebelum simpang yang anda mahukan, bring the left signal alive!

Kalau terlepas simpang anda, jangan la berhenti lepas tu gostan (reverse) pulak. Pusing je lagi sekali. Tak kena saman pun.

Dan yang paling penting, duduk di lorong yang betul. Kalau nak keluar simpang yang dekat dari tempat anda sebelum keluar bulatan, duduk lane kiri. Kalau nak keluar ke simpang pukul 3 (simpang kanan), duduk lane kanan. Memudahkan anda dan rakyat lain! Nampak tak, aku tulis rakyat. Because laws didn't apply to certain people. Lawak rakyat yang ditindas kbai.

Manusia yang sedang berada DALAM bulatan, sila teruskan perjalanan, jangan berhenti saja-saja sebab nak ambil gambar. Kepada mereka yang berada di simpang yakni DI LUAR bulatan, sila bersabar dan tunggu. Jangan block atau marah orang dalam bulatan sebab tak bagi anda jalan siap hon dan angkat satu jari tu (again, not a thumb).

Apa-apa pun, sila lah bersabar ketika memandu. Setiap pagi nak pergi kerja mesti ada accident aku nampak. Dah la pagi buta, nak kelam kabut sangat awatnya. Lepas tu dah accident, menyusahkan orang lain pulak. Dah kita sama-sama lambat. Dude, we're not that close. Aku taknak kongsi kesusahan kau, okay? Jangan kongsi kebangangan anda. Thank you.

Aku sangat-sangat bersyukur kerana traffic light diletakkan di bulatan yang sibuk. Dan kadang-kadang ada polis trafik jaga di bulatan. Tapi ada juga orang yang bangang tak sabar ni. Orang-orang macam ni bukan kena sekolahkan balik. Kena duduk rumah je tak payah keluar infect people with their attitude.

Phew. Dah lama tak tulis panjang berjela merepek macam ni. So, that's all. Happy driving! And be safe!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Hei hei hei. Aku konvo esok!

Aku extend hingga tahun ke-empat. Awal-awal sedih la juga sebab takde geng satu fakulti masa nak konvo nanti. Nak ambil gambar pun jadi tak gembira.

Tapi jangan lupa, aku masih ada mereka.

Terima kasih, DOTters. Sayang korang, semakin!










Mahu lihat lebih banyak wajah-wajah gembira kesayangans aku? Sila ke link ini. Okay salah tu, link ini. Ihihihi salah juga. Okay, okay. Ni betul-betul! Link ini.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Monday, September 16, 2013

CerPen (Cerita Pendek)

Hari ni hari Ahad. Hari untuk dating. Dengan makwe.

Aku ambil makwe aku kat rumah. Manis dia hari ni. Rambutnya dilepaskan. Dia pakai dress takat lutut, tali halus di kedua2 bahu. Sepatu warna merah sepadan dengan rona baju.

Masuk kereta, semerbak haruman perfume makwe. Dia senyum, aku pun senyum. Aku menekan minyak dengan steady menuju ke Paradigm Mall. Hari ni kami nak tengok wayang. Cerita apa, tak tau lagi. Nanti aku nak suruh dia pilih. Nanti aku pilih, banyak pula bebelnya. Tak seronok lah, hero tak hensem lah, cerita berbelit lah.

Dalam kereta dia banyak membisu sambil pandang keluar tingkap. Ha tak lain tak bukan tengah merajuk lah tu. Pasal apa, aku taktau. Malas nak tanya. Tapi kalau tak tanya, lagi dia marah.

"Awak marah ke?" Dia diam.

"Senyum sikit?" Dia pusing, senyum nipis, lepas tu pandang keluar tingkap semula.

Amboi. Dalam rajuknya ni. Biar lah dia tenang dulu. Nanti dia dah ready, dia cerita lah tu. Aku pun naikkan volume radio supaya takde awkward silence. Aku lah yang awkward. Makwe tu tengah fikir banyak tu mana sempat nak fikir pasal awkward.

"Awak ni tak paham perasaan saya pun! Saya tengah marah ni boleh pulak nak dengar radio. Isshhh!! Benci lah!" Dah aku pulak yang kena? Tadi aku tanya, taknak jawab. Aku paranawei kang sesia je.

"Tadi saya tanya, awak diam. Ingatkan takde apa lah. Ha kenapa ni cuba cakap?"

"Semalam saya mimpi awak tinggalkan saya sebab perempuan lain!"

Tak cakap banyak, aku keluarkan Magnum .44 dari dashboard, aku hala tepat ke bahagian serebrum dan "Bam! Bam! Bam!" otak makwe bersepai melekat kat tingkap kereta aku.

Selesai satu masalah.