Perkara yang aku suka buat ketika memandu

Biasa-biasa

1. Kalau sorang2, aku suka bukak tingkap, bukak lagu kuat2, nyanyi skali. Lagi2 bila jalan jammed.

Cerita berkait:

Macam biasa aku sing along dengan lagu yang dipasang kuat. Tengah berhenti kat lampu merah. Abang motor sebelah pandang. Aku pandang dia, aku jerit "SING ALONG EVERYBODY!" dan kami berdua nyanyi sama2.

Tulisan senget2 biasanya kisah x benar.

2. Troll orang kat opposite way. Bagi beam dua tiga kali. Nanti mesti orang belah sana kelam kabut pakai seatbelt pastu memandu dengan berhemah.

3. Kalau bawak orang yang senang kena tipu, tengah memandu dengan aman damai, aku akan tarik seatbelt dengan laju. Nanti diorang kelam kabut pakai seatbelt gak.

Cerita berkait:

(situasi : aku dah pakai seatbelt, bawak KK)

Aku : KK, awak ada RM300 x?

KK : Kenapa?

Aku : Kalau kena saman nanti sebab awak x pakai seatbelt, at least saya tau awak ada duit nak bayar.

KK : (dengan segera pakai seatbelt)

4. Check cermin pandang belakang berkali2. Kadang2 x check langsung.

5. Lupa on lampu masa drive malam2.

6. Tweet bila tiba2 datang idea nak menuit. Keadaan begini biasa berlaku bilamana idea yang dituit jarang2 sekali berkunjung tiba ketika x memandu.

Emo

1. Bawak kereta laju2 sambil bukak lagu kuat2 x kesah di jalanraya, jalan kampung mahupun di kawasan perumahan.

2. Bila orang belakang cucuk rapat sambil bagi beam padahal dia boleh memotong dengan sopan, aku akan bawak super slow jenis x tekan minyak langsung, brek sikit2 nak bagi dia panas sambil bagi line supaya dia boleh memotong dengan aman. Sharp2 je dia dah depan aku, aku terus cucuk sambil bagi beam, macam yang dia buat kat aku.

3. Kadang2 aku akan bawak super slow. Keadaan begini di-apply bila mata penuh dengan airmata. Kalau bawak laju2, macam mana nak fokus kat jalan pulak bila mata dah blur.

Misi mencari penimbang berat.

Di sebuah kedai paling besar di Cheras Perdana.

"Dik, penimbang berat kat mana eh?"

"Pingpong tu ya?"

Setelah aku sedari dia x reti cakap Melayu,

"No no. Weight scale."

"Bicycle?"

"Weight. Scale."

"With skill?"

sigh.

Taste of freedom.

Hari ni dah habis praktikal yang aku rasa seperti 500 tahun walaupun hanya 5 bulan.

Lepas ni xde dah

: sejuk menggigil2 terpaksa mandi subuh2.

: stuck in jammed selama 2 jam.

: melepak dengan Makcik Dangdut kat emergency exit.

: 8 jam di opis sejuk beku yang terasa panjang sebab xde kerja.

: kopi yang boleh buat aku high.

: buat2 taip something kat hp sebab nak avoid bersembang dengan budak jaga parking yang miang baq hang.

: tidur awal setiap malam.

Tapi sepanjang praktikal ni ada jugak misi yang aku nak capai. Ada yang berjaya, ada yang x.

Missions :

Beramah mesra dengan rakan sekerja

- ACCOMPLISHED.

- Tu pun masa nak bagi Choclairs sebelum balik rumah tadi. Hahah..

Naik ke bumbung menara

- FAIL.

- Aku bukan gayat tapi tangga nak naik ke bumbung tu scary gila kot. Macam ada serial killer tunggu aku kat situ.. 

Dapat markah tinggi untuk presentation

- ACCOMPLISHED.

Dapat ulasan baik dari supervisor

- ACCOMPLISHED.

- Walaupun dia selalu tangkap aku tengah baca komik, tengok video kat Youtube dan tengok 9Gag. Hahahaha..

Avoid geng2 kaki gosip

- ACCOMPLISHED.

- Walaupun aku kuat bergosip, tapi aku x boleh into sangat lah scene gosip akak2 nih..

So, aku harap dapat A lah untuk subjek ni. Supervisor aku tadi pun dah jemput aku kerja situ lepas grad. Alhamdulillah..

Aku dapat 2 keychain dari Supervisor. Terharu kejap..

Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye

Sekarang video ni menghantui aku. Walk Off The Earth bawak pun boleh tahan gak.

[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know) [x2]

Apa? Apa?? Apaaa???

7Eleven

"Bang, Motorola black menthol satu"

"Motorola?"

"Saya cakap Marlboro lah!"

fin

Mind blown

Berdasarkan Traffic Sources,

ada orang pernah search blog aku

dengan keyword

gambar wann,

dan bontot besar.

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